I recently went out to dinner with some of my oldest and dearest friends. We've been friends since school, and we maintain a tradition of getting together several times a year for our birthdays - come hell or high water, marriages, divorces, deaths, new jobs, babies - we make it happen. They are my people. And we talk about everything. Well, everything we can squeeze into 2 hours.
One of my beloved friends is a smart and successful businesswoman. And she was talking about a frustration at work with one of her employees who has been falling behind. He's a single dad. His kids keep getting sick, and he has to leave work in the middle of the day to pick them up from daycare. He's presenting a bad example for the other employees.
I didn't say anything at the time. But I am that employee. I leave earlier than everyone else. Last Friday, Joy sat with me at my desk for half the day, playing NickJr.com with earphones and asking questions (camp had ended early that day). And then we went home early. I've had to leave early for my kids' doctor appointments twice already. And I've only had this job for three weeks.
But I believe that I make up for it in other ways. I come in early. I often work through my lunch. I work from home many evenings. And I'm exceptionally good at what I do! And I suppose that's the decision any employer would have to make. Is this employee worth it?
But it also causes me to stop and wonder how much responsibility employers really have to put themselves in our shoes. Do they care what it's like to be a parent? And do they have to?
I keep meaning to talk to my friend about this, and I probably will the next time I see her. Hopefully that will happen before she reads this post. :)
4 comments:
Yeah, I'd be interested in what she'd have to say too. Thankfully, the people that I work with all have children the same ages as mine. They all know I'm a single mom and they are very flexible about it. I couldn't have asked for a better place to be.
That is really a hard situation. Some people choose not to have kids, but also would like the flex time. Although as a mom myself I feel much more understanding if you have to leave early to get your kid than if you have to get your dog or something. I guess it is up to the employer to decide if the employee is worth it, and for the employee to do what they can to keep it balanced. I don't know if your friend is the boss or not, but she might not realize the extra hours the guy puts in at home or if he comes early. Or, maybe he is just a slacker. There are plenty of those people too. Single parents, parents and singles. Either way, it's nice to be able to vent to your friends, but best to keep it under wraps at work until they figure it out. If you are the "complainer" it never goes well for you - even if you are justified.
I'm lucky too - very cool co-workers and bosses. SO important. Gloria Steinem has some very interesting opinions on this.
Family is more important than work. And it does sound like you make up for it coming in early and working from home. Companies need to be more understanding. Hopefully the single parent blogosphere can raise awareness for everyone!
Post a Comment